I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you didnt know i had herpes?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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