The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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