i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
