I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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