part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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