Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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