thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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