A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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