I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
