shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My vagina is very pro this idea
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
