Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
