how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
