Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My ass is underappreciated
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
