I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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