So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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