Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
