so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
