i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
