I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
