She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
