Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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