She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
