Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
