Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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