Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
