I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
