Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
