you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
