Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
