Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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