THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
