Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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