he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
