Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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