Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
