if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
