I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
