my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
is it fun? or sober?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
