Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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