Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
