you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
