where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
