as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Randomize
