I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We left the knife in your bed.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
