I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
