I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
