Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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