Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I will be naked everywhere
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
