Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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