Whod you bang
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
