it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
