So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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