He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
