I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
